Hey, it's Noah.
Today my friend Mia was talking about a story in Luke 24 where Jesus hid his identity from two disciples while they walked together on the road to Emmaus. It was so amazing, I wanted to retell it in my own words here. Thanks Mia.
Luke 24:13-29 - A Noah paraphrase
How could Jesus leave us? How could they kill him? We really thought He was going to be the One. The One to save us. The Messiah... And now He's been dead for three days. The 11 disciples have gone back into hiding. The rest of us don't know what to do. He said to follow, but to where? Where are we going?
Questions burned in the two downtrodden disciples minds as they trudged down the dirt path. Occasionally one of them would break the silence and blurt out a question they both had: "Why did He say He would save us?" "Was the prophet ever really the Son of God?" "If it was all a lie, what do we do now?" The conversation would gradually change to speculation and planning for the future, then they would both fall silent again for another mile or so, lost in the pain, the doubt, and the fear.
While they were talking, a young traveler sped up to walk beside them. "What's up? What are you two arguing about?"
"What do you mean" one replied. "Have you been living under a rock?"
"What's the news?" the traveler asked noticing their depressed expressions
The other disciple chimed in "A man came into town... well a prophet. A
really powerful prophet. We thought He was going to be the One to save us. That he would lead us out of captivity. He healed the sick and lame and... But anyway, now He's dead! He's been dead three days. The rulers and priests had him
killed on a cross! We don't know where His body is. We don't know where to go. He told us to follow Him and we both left so much behind and
followed him this far... Now. I don't know..." He trailed off and stared at his feet.
The other disciple had hardly glanced up while his friend spoke. "We thought... We though this prophet Jesus was going to... I don't know... Redeem Israel. We
truly believed."
The traveller waited patiently for them to stop, then responded with unexpected bluntness. "How foolish are you? You know what the prophets wrote! You know the scripture. This Jesus said He was the Son of God. That He had to die to save you. He gave up
everything, far more than you did, even His life out of love because the scriptures say He HAD to die! And
NOW, now that His tomb is empty you have second thoughts!?"
The traveller laid out example after example of old testament prophecies that Jesus fulfilled with his life and Death. "In Zechariah 11 it said God would be valued at 30 pieces of silver, which is what Judas sold him out for." "His bones were unbroken like the Passover lambs in Leviticus." "He was offered Vinegar and Gall mirroring Psalm 69." His list continued for several miles. Every few examples a disciple would interject, often admitting that they wanted to believe, but that it still left them so empty. Once they reached their destination, the three men stood outside and continued to shoot prophecies, questions, and explanations back and forth. Eventually the traveller said his goodbyes and started back on the road, but the disciples insisted he come in and rest for the night before continuing.
When they sat down inside, the traveller offered to bless their meal. He prayed, broke the bread, and for the first time, the disciples realized that he was Jesus. As soon as they saw him, he vanished, and one lept to his feet
"What just happened? He was listening while we were berating Him. Our hearts were burning! We said all that and He still calmly explained Himself. He still taught us about the scriptures, even when we said we didn't believe in Him!" They couldn't believe that God was still there the whole time, but now their heads reeled as the pieces all came into place.
The other disciple was still sitting down staring at the place where the risen Jesus had just broken bread. Then it clicked "It had to happen this way. He had to die. He had to walk with us without revealing Himself right away so we would believe... It all had to happen just like this. We just couldn't see it."
My Year - (Feat. A Paraphrase of Mia's Paraphrase)
It's Summer. Why am I so consistently stressed out? I'm on my own. I'm doing my best, but I'm still failing classes with my crippling procrastination and gripping perfectionism. If I can't motivate myself to clean my room and write my brother a best man speech how am I supposed to pass my second year of college classes? Why do I half-ass my faith? I haven't a quiet time in months. Why do I always feel like I'm barely getting by by the skin of my teeth? Why is my faith so weak? I want to believe, but all these questions burn inside me, like where am I going?
What if this whole religion was fake? What would I do then? I'm scared to research my core beliefs because every time I do I end up questioning
everything! Okay, I'll just suck it up, school's staring it's time to march on. So I march on in silence.
Let's put the questions on the shelf in my mind. But I still take them out at night sometimes: "What if God lies?" "Why doesn't He talk to me like He did that one time, when the slides on the screen answered the questions that burned in my mind? He talked through song lyrics and impromptu speeches and it was so real then but I was like 16. Where's God been since then." I've got to keep marching through the semester. It's day two, I'm doing well so far.
I look up a spoken word I wrote earlier this Summer and never released. Where I argued with God about why He's silent all the time. I beg for Him to step in again if He's real, but I'm starting to doubt that He is. I go to my history class, lost in the pain, the doubt, and the fear.
let's put our religion on the shelf in my mind with my doubts for a minute. I try to relax and not think about it.
It's been a while since I ate and I feel so foggy headed, but I promised I'd go to worship tonight, it's just an hour, we'll eat after. So I stumble into Cru and sit down in the back. I try to worship genuinely... I wish I could hear God so for the hundredth time this Summer I pray with no reply... and then discipleship starts. Mia gets up to talk about Luke 24. She always paraphrases the scripture's in such a fun laid back tone. I still feel so foggy headed, so I pray that God helps me think clearly. I doubt He'll answer because the food I eat is physical Biology, not a spiritual thing.
I've got an Andy Mineo song stuck in my head, then Mia says verbatim one of the lines "it's like there's a fog around them, and they can't see." [Clarity] That makes me think of my playlist I'd been building this Summer of songs that represent my ongoing spiritual battle/emotional trauma/general baggage. Then Mia starts rapidfire throwing out song titles from the playlist. Getting more songs stuck in my head "He doesn't forget about you in your doubt" [Doubt] "He doesn't judge you when it gets so heavy" [Heavy]. She keeps going and I feel like God is maybe, possibly, just maybe speaking through her unprepared address about the scripture.
(Note: If you don't understand the song references that's not the point. The point was that the specific words Mia used resonated with me in a way they wouldn't have with anyone else.)
So I listen closely to every word. "The disciples are like Yo! God's still here we just couldn't see Him. And God like still loved them and didn't judge them... Well I mean i guess He called 'em fools. But He still loved them and took the time to talk with them." then she started going off on a tangent, which she seemed to be making up as she went, but which was exactly what I needed to hear. Because of the way she takes on people's roles and makes them talk like her when she tells stories, she was talking from the perspective of God. "He's like, 'Yo, I'm still here, I'm going to sit down with you right where you are. I've been walking right beside you this whole time.' And I'll bet He's just been thinking 'If you could just see the big picture, you'd know that it had to happen this way.' Like He could've just not hid himself so they didn't recognize him and gone 'BOOM! I'M JESUS! I AIN'T DEAD! ... ALSO Y'ALL ARE FOOLS!' But then they might've just thought they were dehydrated or something and explained it away like we do with most miracles."
After she finished talking I sat there for a second staring at the place where Mia had been standing and teaching. Then it clicked
It had to happen this way. He had to die. He had to walk with me without revealing Himself right away so I would believe... It all had to happen just like this. I just couldn't see it.
This isn't a normal post, but this hasn't been a normal year. I hope I've seen the worst of my unbelief, but I'm glad God's still listening even through all my doubts... Thanks for checking in God. I'm free whenever you need me. Until next time.
~ Noah
