A Veranda Post from my Phone

Pssst. Can I tell you a secret? ... I’m The Noah. This is Noahbodycares. The blog where I write a blog and sometimes people accidentally click on the page and click away. Other than that nobody reads it. 

That said, hi nobody! Life’s been fine thanks for asking! How are you? (just kidding I don’t care)

This isn't a Blog Post

Hey, it's The Noah. I'm really busy and tired and I JUST wanted to let you know I'm not dead. I'm writing a post soon.

Thanks for subscribing. It means a lot.

The REAL Santa

The name's The. Noah, The.

Hi! This is my blog, Noahbody Cares, where I write things nobody cares about and then nobody reads it.

While you're here nobody, you're just who I wanted to talk to, because despite Netflix relentlessly pushing their original Christmas content, nobody watched The Christmas Chronicles... Almost nobody... anyway Dad said he heard good reviews for it, so I watched the whole thing and it is BIZARRE. It's targeted more at kids and families with young kids, which Dad would have seen if he'd read any reviews for it! Regardless, I want to talk about some of the things I found really interesting about the movie.

The movie is set in 2018. (Yes, I'm doing a movie review for a Netflix Original now. It's my blog; I can write about whatever I want. Yes, that was an appropriate placement of a semicolon. Now stop interrupting me)

Also, minor spoilers ahead but it's a freaking Netflix original Christmas movie I'm not going to ruin anything.

remember to put page break here:

Twenty One Pilots: Every Trench reference to fire (the sun, light, etc.)

Hey Clique and whoever else happens to be reading this,
I'm The Noah. This is Noahbody Cares, the blog that critics are saying is a blog...

I really love Twenty One Pilots. The way Tyler Joseph and Josh Dun write lyrics that are 49% highly complex imagery 49% confusing metaphors and 2% glorious puns while still being catchy enough to play on Pop-Radio blows my mind.
A lot of the visual metaphors in Twenty One Pilots last two albums have been about fire (or heat or light) so I just wanted to talk about that. I wanted to figure out if the Sun, Fire, Heat represent something consistent across all of Twenty One Pilots recent music.

Fire for reference

Does God Google?

Hello to the nobody I’m writing this for,

I’m The Noah. The one and only. And THIS blog is my fun side-project I like to call Noahbody Cares! I’m going to be honest with you, Nobody, I’ve been having a bit of writers block lately. For some reason I really want my next post to live up to the high standards of this blog, but I'm afraid it won't…

Which is odd because if you’ve been here for even a few posts you know

There are no standards for

this blog.

Anyway,

I needed something I could write about quickly without too much thinking, so I turned to a higher power for guidance… Google (just kidding I prayed about it… then I started messing around with Google). I logged out of my Google account and typed in “Does God…” followed by random letters to see what kinds of things people were searching for about God. Maybe there’d be a good idea for something to write about in there.

Time to play “Does God Google!”

How to Change a Flat Tire (Without Feeling like a Failure)

Hey Internet,

My name is The Noah,

and THIS is Noahbody Cares!


My younger sister Nat also has a blog and it's low key pretty great (linked to in the vicinity of right about here: natandarthur.wordpress.com). In that blog she anthropomorphizes her Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis (that means she gives human characteristics to it. You just can't get through one of my posts without learning a word... unless you already knew that word. It's not that uncommon, so maybe you did.) and calls him "Arthur." I think this is super cool because it gives her the ability to talk about her arthritis with friends or in public without having to explain the condition to people who will never wrap their heads around it. She can just say "Arthur's been a pain in the butt lately". By anthropomorphizing him she can also confront him by saying things like "I know eating healthier gives me more power over Arthur, but I still have to live with him for now." 

Her blog gave me the inspiration to plagiarize...

Top Ten Study Tips (alternate title: How I Optimized Cookie Clicker)

Hello literate, sighted people and potentially those being read to,

I'm The Noah

First name The,

Last name Noah,

And THIS is Noahbody Cares. Sorry for accidentally making a post I cared about last time, we should be back to your regularly scheduled RUBBISH now.

So I'm a sophomore at [university], and it can be stressful to sit and do homework alone. Sometimes I combat this by doing homework with others, though I've yet to find a group that doesn't get distracted every .5 seconds (Yes, I'm aware the common denominator in all these groups is the fact they contain exactly 1 The Noah). When I really need to focus I find somewhere quiet and promise myself I'll work hard for at least an hour or two. 

It was around the 2 hr mark on one of these solo missions that I decided to revisit an old passive game Cookie Clicker http://orteil.dashnet.org/cookieclicker/ (one of those "clicker" games where you watch a number increase and you can leave and come back every few hours or days and buy things to make the number increase faster.) I figured I'd play for a few minutes and get back to work... And I did... For a while...