Doubt: An analogy

Hey, it's Noah.

Today my friend Mia was talking about a story in Luke 24 where Jesus hid his identity from two disciples while they walked together on the road to Emmaus. It was so amazing, I wanted to retell it in my own words here. Thanks Mia.

Luke 24:13-29 - A Noah paraphrase

How could Jesus leave us? How could they kill him? We really thought He was going to be the One. The One to save us. The Messiah... And now He's been dead for three days. The 11 disciples have gone back into hiding. The rest of us don't know what to do. He said to follow, but to where? Where  are we going?

Questions burned in the two downtrodden disciples minds as they trudged down the dirt path. Occasionally one of them would break the silence and blurt out a question they both had: "Why did He say He would save us?" "Was the prophet ever really the Son of God?" "If it was all a lie, what do we do now?" The conversation would gradually change to speculation and planning for the future, then they would both fall silent again for another mile or so, lost in the pain, the doubt, and the fear.

While they were talking, a young traveler sped up to walk beside them. "What's up? What are you two arguing about?"

"What do you mean" one replied. "Have you been living under a rock?"

"What's the news?" the traveler asked noticing their depressed expressions

The other disciple chimed in "A man came into town... well a prophet. A really powerful prophet. We thought He was going to be the One to save us. That he would lead us out of captivity. He healed the sick and lame and... But anyway, now He's dead! He's been dead three days. The rulers and priests had him killed on a cross! We don't know where His body is. We don't know where to go. He told us to follow Him and we both left so much behind and followed him this far... Now. I don't know..." He trailed off and stared at his feet.

The other disciple had hardly glanced up while his friend spoke. "We thought... We though this prophet Jesus was going to... I don't know... Redeem Israel. We truly believed."

The traveller waited patiently for them to stop, then responded with unexpected bluntness. "How foolish are you? You know what the prophets wrote! You know the scripture. This Jesus said He was the Son of God. That He had to die to save you. He gave up everything, far more than you did, even His life out of love because the scriptures say He HAD to die! And NOW, now that His tomb is empty you have second thoughts!?"

The traveller laid out example after example of old testament prophecies that Jesus fulfilled with his life and Death. "In Zechariah 11 it said God would be valued at 30 pieces of silver, which is what Judas sold him out for." "His bones were unbroken like the Passover lambs in Leviticus." "He was offered Vinegar and Gall mirroring Psalm 69." His list continued for several miles. Every few examples a disciple would interject, often admitting that they wanted to believe, but that it still left them so empty. Once they reached their destination, the three men stood outside and continued to shoot prophecies, questions, and explanations back and forth. Eventually the traveller said his goodbyes and started back on the road, but the disciples insisted he come in and rest for the night before continuing.

When they sat down inside, the traveller offered to bless their meal. He prayed, broke the bread, and for the first time, the disciples realized that he was Jesus. As soon as they saw him, he vanished, and one lept to his feet

"What just happened? He was listening while we were berating Him. Our hearts were burning! We said all that and He still calmly explained Himself. He still taught us about the scriptures, even when we said we didn't believe in Him!" They couldn't believe that God was still there the whole time, but now their heads reeled as the pieces all came into place.

The other disciple was still sitting down staring at the place where the risen Jesus had just broken bread. Then it clicked "It had to happen this way. He had to die. He had to walk with us without revealing Himself right away so we would believe... It all had to happen just like this. We just couldn't see it."


My Year - (Feat. A Paraphrase of Mia's Paraphrase)

It's Summer. Why am I so consistently stressed out? I'm on my own. I'm doing my best, but I'm still failing classes with my crippling procrastination and gripping perfectionism. If I can't motivate myself to clean my room and write my brother a best man speech how am I supposed to pass my second year of college classes? Why do I half-ass my faith? I haven't a quiet time in months. Why do I always feel like I'm barely getting by by the skin of my teeth? Why is my faith so weak? I want to believe, but all these questions burn inside me, like where am I going?

What if this whole religion was fake? What would I do then? I'm scared to research my core beliefs because every time I do I end up questioning everything! Okay, I'll just suck it up, school's staring it's time to march on. So I march on in silence. Let's put the questions on the shelf in my mind. But I still take them out at night sometimes: "What if God lies?" "Why doesn't He talk to me like He did that one time, when the slides on the screen answered the questions that burned in my mind? He talked through song lyrics and impromptu speeches and it was so real then but I was like 16. Where's God been since then." I've got to keep marching through the semester. It's day two, I'm doing well so far.

I look up a spoken word I wrote earlier this Summer and never released. Where I argued with God about why He's silent all the time. I beg for Him to step in again if He's real, but I'm starting to doubt that He is. I go to my history class, lost in the pain, the doubt, and the fear. let's put our religion on the shelf in my mind with my doubts for a minute. I try to relax and not think about it.

It's been a while since I ate and I feel so foggy headed, but I promised I'd go to worship tonight, it's just an hour, we'll eat after. So I stumble into Cru and sit down in the back. I try to worship genuinely... I wish I could hear God so for the hundredth time this Summer I pray with no reply... and then discipleship starts. Mia gets up to talk about Luke 24. She always paraphrases the scripture's in such a fun laid back tone. I still feel so foggy headed, so I pray that God helps me think clearly. I doubt He'll answer because the food I eat is physical Biology, not a spiritual thing.

I've got an Andy Mineo song stuck in my head, then Mia says verbatim one of the lines "it's like there's a fog around them, and they can't see." [Clarity] That makes me think of my playlist I'd been building this Summer of songs that represent my ongoing spiritual battle/emotional trauma/general baggage. Then Mia starts rapidfire throwing out song titles from the playlist. Getting more songs stuck in my head "He doesn't forget about you in your doubt" [Doubt] "He doesn't judge you when it gets so heavy" [Heavy]. She keeps going and I feel like God is maybe, possibly, just maybe speaking through her unprepared address about the scripture. (Note: If you don't understand the song references that's not the point. The point was that the specific words Mia used resonated with me in a way they wouldn't have with anyone else.)

So I listen closely to every word. "The disciples are like Yo! God's still here we just couldn't see Him. And God like still loved them and didn't judge them... Well I mean i guess He called 'em fools. But He still loved them and took the time to talk with them." then she started going off on a tangent, which she seemed to be making up as she went, but which was exactly what I needed to hear. Because of the way she takes on people's roles and makes them talk like her when she tells stories, she was talking from the perspective of God. "He's like, 'Yo, I'm still here, I'm going to sit down with you right where you are. I've been walking right beside you this whole time.' And I'll bet He's just been thinking 'If you could just see the big picture, you'd know that it had to happen this way.' Like He could've just not hid himself so they didn't recognize him and gone 'BOOM! I'M JESUS! I AIN'T DEAD! ... ALSO Y'ALL ARE FOOLS!' But then they might've just thought they were dehydrated or something and explained it away like we do with most miracles."

After she finished talking I sat there for a second staring at the place where Mia had been standing and teaching. Then it clicked It had to happen this way. He had to die. He had to walk with me without revealing Himself right away so I would believe... It all had to happen just like this. I just couldn't see it.


This isn't a normal post, but this hasn't been a normal year. I hope I've seen the worst of my unbelief, but I'm glad God's still listening even through all my doubts... Thanks for checking in God. I'm free whenever you need me. Until next time.
~ Noah

The Taylor Swift Theory

Okay, let's try again... Hi! I'm Noah, this is my blog that "Noahbody Cares" about. You know what else nobody cares about. Your dreams. (what a smooth segway [at least it could've been if I hadn't pointed it out thus defeating its purpose {actually I might not have even needed a segway because it was like one sentence into my post (also, now you've forgotten what I was segwaying too and you're just making sure I get the order of these nested parentheses right [note: yes the period goes before the close parenthesis.])}]) It was dreams... I want to talk about dreams. 

Don't worry, I'm not going to talk about my dreams much, because while that would be fun for me, it would be dull as heck for everyone who wasn't there. a.k.a. "everyone". No. I want to talk about the act of dreaming. And I want to make an argument that literally NOBODY has ever thought about: Taylor Swift is an avid lucid dreamer!

Top 10 advices from the advice giving person that's myself, an enlightened sophomore (hey good job on the title, Noah.)

Top 10 advices from the advice giving person that's myself, an enlightened sophomore.

Hey guys! I’m The Noah, and this is Noahbody Cares (with one space sometimes, but sometimes with no space, and sometimes spelled "Noah Buddy Cares" idk. I’m kinda winging this branding thing) How's it going? [ Insert obligatory apology for not posting in like a year-ish ] Sorry? I know you've all been eager to hear my thoughts and by you I mean  nobody in 2018, but maybe somebody is reading these in the distant future if I become famous and people have to scrutinize everything I said as an edgy teen and hold them up to whatever standards exist in the future. Hello future people! I think black people shouldn't say the N-word and standardized tests are the best way to measure general intelligence or comprehension of specific information.

...Well that was disaster of an introduction. This post is already a mess and I haven't even started. Now that the nobody that was reading this has clicked away in confusion, I want to talk about some stuff I learned this last year. Obviously as a high schooler and college freshmen, I didn't know anything, but now  I've completed two semesters, have all A's except for one B, one C, one D, and one F (that was a weird coincidence). I'm legally a sophomore now, which I think means I've reached enlightenment and have all the answers for everyone's lives with no exceptions. SO... Idk, Imma make some generalized rules I guess. 

HERE IS, TEN RULES FOR, like, people, mostly college freshmen if any of those ever read this.... LET'S GO!

RULE #1: Don't do your best on your homework. Give it 80% effort

I know that sounds bad, but all the times I failed was from trying to do my absolute 100% best work. That "F" I mentioned earlier: it was a writing class. Now I can write some GREAT essays, but I picked a really complex nuanced topic and spent way too long researching, and I ran out of time to write my final paper. It would've been the BEST paper my teacher had ever seen....... if I'd actually had time to write it. It'd actually be less embarrassing if I'd just not shown up to class for peer reviews bc I got drunk every Tuesdays like the guy I sat next to every time he showed up. In fact, I'm pretty sure that guy made at least a C and his papers were about why college cost too much or something stupid like that. So yeah, just  pick easier topics and do the minimum you need to do to get an A, rather than procrastinating because you can't make yourself vomit up a B or C worthy assignment.

Speaking on the guys I sat next to:
RULE #@: Don't forget to stop holding down shift when you type numbers. Sorry that @ was supposed to be a 2, but I keep doing that so I'm not fixing this one. [edit note: I went back to format this stuff and made the ": D" into a smiley face. I'm not fixing that either bc it's cute. I hope everyone's following this post bc it makes no sense.]

ACTUAL RULE #2: Don't sit in the back 1/3 of the classroom.
I'm pretty sure if you map out people's grades, A students sit in the 2nd and 3rd row, bright B and C students sit in the front, and D and F students sit in the back. Actually, that's just a guess I bet people have studied this, let me Google it...



Yeah, here's a gif I found that confirms my preexisting bias, so I'll assume that it's true. No need for further research. You want to sit with A-making students for several reasons: 
1) you'll spend too much time in class to meet many people you don't sit with on a regular basis
2) if you ask for people's numbers the first few days of class, you can get them to text you notes, ask them about unclear assignments, and they probably pay better attention than you too. 
#) Darn it! 3) The teacher will know you. I mean. Most teacher's know me because I'm a loud person, I'm answer questions, and I write happy little thank you notes and sometimes math jokes in the white space on my tests, but for the rest of you timid little introverts there are a lot of little perks to getting to know your professors. Which is why you should go to office hours too. In fact...

RULE #3: Also, go to office hours. As mentioned in rule 2.3 (2-3)?
What is this numbering system, also what kind of order are the rules in? Was 2-3 a subrule under the main rule? I'm so confused!!

RULE #4: Negotiate for higher wages often, and don't turn on your high beams when it's raining so hard you can barely see, they won't help.
What am I writing? Can we get back to college related advice please? FINE. I mean I think the high beams thing is especially important too bc you'll just light up the water drops in the air and not the road but fine let's do more college advice.

RULE #5: Make friends!
It's not a life tip list without a piece of advice that's both obvious and not advice. How many rules did I promise, like 10? Okay, I'll just do some more non-advice.

RULES 6-10: Be yourself! Don't sell yourself short! Know your limits! Be good! Pass all your classes, then graduate, maybe with honors, definitely with a good grasp of what kind of person you want to be for the rest of your life!


I don't know what the heck I'm doing. Thanks for reading nobody. If it's the future, leave a comment about how college is free now and not stressful and I'm a bad person for not already knowing that that's how college is in the future. That's the second time I've gone on this tangent about scrubbing celebs' online activity I'll get off my soapbox and clean my room now.

Good luck Nat,
~The Noah

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Nnfh9J3I3g

 I'm The Noah, and this is NOAHBODY CARES the YOUTUBE CHANNEL!!!

 I made a video covering the story that spans across 16 Blockbuster films. The MCU exists on a scale unlike anything we've seen in film history. Above is a link to my breakdown of the entire history of the MARVEL cinematic universe in under 6 minutes.

 It's my first attempt at any sort of animation, so please subscribe. If you like vague promises of more content similar to this then I can deliver!... those promises, not necessarily more animations like that. Whatever stuff I make, it'll be in my unique overly analytical, satirical, nerdy style.

 - - I'm thinking about doing a history of the DCEU vid or more in depth breakdowns of the multi-movie character arcs in Marvel movies. I'm also working on some video essays and song breakdowns in the meantime. What do you think I should make more of? - -

 I value your feedback and suggestions bc I have no real idea where I want to take this channel, but I want to take it places and create things I'll be proud of! (Proud of which I'll be? Of which I'll be proud? That still sounds wrong...) Anyway, watch the video and subscribe and stuff! I'll create more things soon!

 Catch ya later,

-THE Noah

On God and rocks and such

Can God make a rock so big he can't pick it up?

Also, Hey everyone! I'm The Noah and THIS is Noahbody Cares!

But seriously, can God make a rock so heavy he can't lift it?

If He can't, then it would seem that God isn't omniscient (all-powerful) right? Because there is a thing that He can't do.
If He can, then it would seem that God isn't omniscient because there is a rock that could be imagined that He can't lift.

Unrelated Meme. Lol.

It's a paradox (something that seems to be self-contradicting, but seems like it has to be possible). And I HATE PARADOXES!

They drive overanalyzers like me CRAZY! The other day my friend asked me this question and followed it up with "I don't know if this is Blasphemy (offensively challenging or lying about God), but if God actually ISN'T omniscient, it does solve a lot of paradoxes." That proposal isn't original, but it does worry me. I've always been told not to put God in a box......... SO LET'S DO IT!

Let's talk about God's relationship with big rocks!

Genesis 1:1 "In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth." - God made the big rock I'm standing on right now (the Earth) and all the way crazier huge rocks in space (the Heavens).
It also seems to me like God created SPACE AND TIME; how else can there be "THE beginning"?

God seems pretty much more powerful than all those rocks, but let's see if there are some limitations on him later on...

Joshua 10:12-15 (Look it up... I'm serious. You literally have a computer in your hands right now, why haven't you opened another tab yet?) If these verses are taken at face value, which I personally believe they should be, then God has complete power over gravity. A few thousand years ago, people thought all you had to do to make the sun and moon stand still in the sky would be stop the SUN. But now we know the Earth is rotating and spinning around the Sun. The Sun is a tiny speck spinning around the HUGE star at the center of the Milky Way Galaxy. And this WHOLE GALAXY and all the other galaxies are spinning around something so far away and so huge we have NO IDEA WHAT IT IS! God froze all of it, Black holes the density of ten billion suns, supernovas, galaxies, etc. for several hours. Then he just started it back moving again

In Matthew 4:3 The Devil tells Jesus to turn some rocks into bread which would totally break the conservative law of energy since bread has WAY more calories than rocks (77 cal per gram vs 4 cal per gram.) And in Matthew 14 Jesus definitely breaks the conservative law of mass and engery when he feeds 5000 people with a fistful of bread.

In the rest of the Bible God parts oceans, heals illnesses in an instant, forgives sins, raises the dead and walks on water. I'm pretty sure there isn't a rock God can't lift!

 So what's the answer to the question? Can God make a rock so big he can't pick it up?
I don't have a problem with saying no. The idea that such a rock could exist puts a limit on how much God can lift. As humans, we can move words around to make sentences that start with "GOD CAN'T" but don't limit Him. Like "God can't make a mistake" "God can't forget about promises He made" "God can't be worse than me at Chess" etc. etc. If God COULD make mistakes, back out of a deal, or be outsmarted by me, THAT would limit His amazing power.

So no. God can't make a rock too big for Him to pick up............ Or maybe He can. I have no idea.

Just remember GOD doesn't fit in your box... And He ROCKS!
This was all building up to that pun. Hope it was worth it. Thanks for sticking around. :0)

  - The Noah

THE Noah is GRADUATED!

Laundry List

Me: I GRADUATED!!!!
Everyone: "What will you do in your future?"
Me: Start blogging again I guess

"Hey Everyone!"
I said, not knowing who everyone was, but hoping someone hadn't unfollowed his blog in the last 10 quiet months. 

I'm not even going to apologize for not posting or make up some excuse or anything. I'm just lazy!

Actually school, and working 30-40 hrs a week, and also school. I lied about not making excuses. I've got a laundry list of them (see reference image)! I took college calculus and chemistry courses, and saved up enough money to not have to work while I'm studying mechanical engineering at UAB.

...But mostly I didn't post because I'm lazy.

Graduation for Reference

Anyway, that high-schooler Noah, not the mature alumni Noah that stands before you today (or... writes before you today?). Now that I'm DONE with high-school I guess I should feel a wave of relief, but I really don't. Graduating is kinda weird in a way that no one really prepares you for. Honestly, everyone acts like it's a huge, ceremonial end of a chapter and the start of a new story that you get to write for yourself. But the actual ceremony is just a boring speech while someone slowly reads the names of a large group of people who enrolled in the same school as you, and for some reason you aren't allowed to leave after they call your name and hand you your diploma. After the boring part a couple people who are unqualified to tell a diverse group of people how to live their lives make a bunch of impractical "motivational" suggestions like "follow your dreams" "shape the future" "have no fears" and "nothing is impossible."

I just have to sit in the audience and wonder "what if my dreams are stupid? What if fear keeps me from overreaching and making mistakes? Does unwavering belief that everything I pour my heart into will eventually work better prepare me for successes and failures along the way?"

To me, this all feels less like the end of a chapter and more like the end of a book series and the start of a new, entirely unrelated series with the same lead actor and a completely separate plot.

-Editor note: do books have actors? I'm not sure. I don't read much.-

What I'm saying is I don't know how much being a kid has prepared me for not being a kid. Making great ACT scores via trial and error convinced colleges that I'm mature, but it hasn't actually made me smarter. I'm at a point of convergence between the time when people would ask "what are you going to be when you grow up?" and the point where people ask "what are you?" or "what's your major?" or "what's your pursuit?" I don't know what I want to pursue for lunch, let alone my future career! I know how to describe the feeling: Have you ever had a dream where you show up to work with no pants and you have to decide whether to bolt and get fired or suck it up and clock in? It's like that, but with $30,000 a year riding on your ability to play it off like you have a plan. 

- Well, $30,000 in scholarships, which are essentially glorified college coupons, and financial aid, which is government intervention that serves to make college more expensive for everyone by paying schools to favor the least qualified over the most qualified based partially on racist and classist ideologies. -

Scholarships for Reference

Side tangent aside. I feel grossly unprepared to take on any of life's challenges, and slightly unsure of who I am and who I want to be. Fortunately, I've got a couple of months to figure all that out before the fall.

Not really sure how to end this. I wonder if anyone else feels nervous about escaping the comfortable, laid back world of high-school. Either way, I'm pretty sure everything will work itself out and I'll just pretend whatever random things happen to me were part of the plan all along. 




Also, who the heck is still reading this blog?

- THE Noah

A Case for Pokémon Go

Is anyone else tired of all the Pokémon Go hype?? I can't take one trip to the store without seeing 5 groups of people with their heads in their phones hunting for make believe monsters!

It's been almost a month, and this is the kind of talk I've heard every day for four weeks. Since I don't personally have a smart phone, I haven't experienced the thrill of hunting Pokémon down for myself, but I've seen enough people enjoy the experience to love the game anyway... What really bother me about this trend is the wave of Pokémon NO-ers! WHY? Why do you glare at the innocent players of a harmless game with so much distain? Why do you shake your head as they rattle off Pokémon names as though you are somehow better than them by not understanding the basics of a popular mobile game. Here some reasons I think people are still frustrated by the un-killable trend:

Invalid reason 1: They're tired of seeing groups of teens and adults with their heads in their phones instead of talking to each other!

Teens hanging out while playing a Nintendo game might be worse than just holding meaningful conversations without any distractions. That's fair... I guess. But its not a valid comparison! It's not like those same people were having heart-to-heart conversations without their phones in hand last month, and this pesky game just ROBBED them of their social time! WELCOME TO THE TWENTYFIRST CENTURY! The people hanging out in groups playing the SAME real time game would probably all be on separate apps if Pokémon Go didn't exist. Many gamers are taking their time they used to spend alone at home playing unsocial games with their friends walking through their community checking about monuments and social spots. Because of the very mechanics of the app, people are able to socialize and talk WHILE playing a game together. What's the harm in that??

Invalid reason 2: But what about the News stories of people getting robbed by chasing lures into dark alleys or unmarked vans?

People were getting kidnapped, mugged, and stabbed long before this game came along. It's not Nintendo's job to eliminate global crime or physically prevent stupid people from wandering around alone. They recommend you travel in groups and what where you are going... What more can they do? Idiots will be idiots, but the majority of players will just have a good time without walking off bridges or wandering away from home alone.

Straw-Man argument 3: Nintendo is stealing all my personal information to steal to the government!

Most mobile apps have pretty long, sometimes sketchy terms of agreement nobody reads. The Pokémon Go app terms give access to your camera (for the augmented reality part of the game to work), and location (duh), but also some potentially allow access to some unneeded things like photos, contacts, and storage space. Still, this isn't anything new, it's just making headlines because this game is so unexpectedly popular. Most apps on your phone are probably stealing your information to sell to interested parties right now. So don't play. If you care so much, ditch your smart phone!
...Or just read all terms of agreement yourself whenever you download software.

HAHAHA! ..."Wait, you're serious?" Nobody reads that stuff! Most people don't even mind if their phone is tracked and the data is used by Google to anonymously determine how fast traffic moves or how popular shopping centers are. If you don't want anyone mining your information without consent... DON'T USE AN IPHONE! Just buy an android, delete all your apps, and don't use any search engines. They can save our searches to improve future results. And stay away from vending machines, coke fountains, and rewards card programs. They can all legally track your buying habits. ;) The rest of us prefer convenience and ignorance to privacy.

Honestly, I don't think anyone has a right to be upset they see a group running around a corner to catch a Squirtle. This game has given people who have trouble starting a conversation to hang out with their friends, while doubling the value of Nintendo the first two days. No, it isn't going to fix all the problems of society. It doesn't teach people how to socialize or exercise (although the mechanics encourage communication and group activity). A single videogame won't end organized crime, prevent kids from using their phones while driving, or teach anyone to watch their step while using their phone (although it isn't so engaging that normal people would be LESS capable of using their phone and walking.)

Nintendo has made a game that makes the world better in a few ways, and doesn't make anyone worse off at all. If you don't play the game that's fine (I don't play ether). You can hate the game all you want, just stop looking down on the over 4.3 million players still using the app.

To the rest of you, happy hunting! Thanks for reading! Comment if you disagree with my stance on Nintendo's new game.

- The Noah