Hating Puns Doesn't Make You Smart

HEY NOBODY!

I'm The Noah and this is The Noahbody Cares, the blog where I write things Nobody cares about. Oak-kay, I'm going to go out on a limb and say that you are currently having one of tree reactions: 1. I wonder where this post is going? 2. Wait, why are there tree puns suddenly? or 3. OH MY GOSH STOP MAKING PUNS!!!! PUNS! ARE! NOT! FUNNY!

If you hate puns please read on.
They aren't all jokes like this.

I'm going to wager that most of you fall into the first two camps. You don't really care if someone makes a pun. The name of this blog contains a pun and the address line of many of my posts is addressed to "Nobody" my most faithful reader. Hopefully, that doesn't bother you, but if you find yourself in the third camp without a tent, I have something to pitch for you! The remainder of this post is an argument for the "puns aren't funny" folks. Thanks in advance for reading! 

Okay, as you're quick to remind friends and strangers every time they slip some wordplay into their conversation, puns aren't funny. You're right, but I have news for you... 

Puns. aren't. jokes. 

I know it's a lot to take in. But literally EVERYONE but the anti-pun crusaders understands that puns aren't jokes. A pun is a form of word play that exploits either multiple meanings of a word (or phrase) or similar sounding words (or phrases). Some other definitions include the preface "a joke that contains -" followed by the actual definition of a pun... Which is weird. "Pun: (noun) a joke that contains a pun" is a stupid definition. But it's the way the word is often used.

I feel weird explaining this in text, because virtually everyone already gets this concept. No one expects a big belly laugh when they say your presence is their present. They KNOW that exploiting a double meanings won't elicit a big laugh or a standing ovation. The only person with that expectation my friend, is you! And that expectation is horribly toxic. When I sold ice cream, I had a friend of mine came, stared at the menu for a while, then finally asked for a vanilla cone. I responded smiling "You sure you don't want a more vanilla option?" as I rang him up, and his response was a hostile "Puns aren't funny." these  vitriol attack on normal conversation exemplify everything that's wrong with the pun-hater. I was left silently wondering for the rest of the day if he thought that I thought I had said something incredibly funny? Did he realize that I was just filling the silence with meaningless conversation because that's my job. The fact that I could think of that on command means I've been bottling that exchange up for way too long. Anyway, If you feel the need to critique a normal conversation like it's stand-up, sit down. 

Puns are a language tool

This is not a drill

Saying puns aren't funny is like saying adjectives or similes aren't funny. If you rate all literary devices by their comedic quality, then you're a tool and I'll leave you to your devices. I hope you saw the shear number of puns I've hammered out in this post, because nailing them all was a lot of effort. Anyway, I was going to take this part to explore the puns in Shakespeare, literature, TV, etc. And that would certainly be fun! Well-written shows like Arrested Development are FULL of puns and half of the episodes hinge on someone mishearing a phrase or misinterpreting a word. The Bible even contains a ton of puns, from Jonah's prophecy that "Nineveh will be overturned in 40 days," which it technically was because everyone turned their ways around, to Peter whose name means "Rock" being told he was the Rock God would build his church on. 

We could spend all night listing puns in literature, summarizing the historical use of puns as evidence of education and wit, wading through the trenches of Ancient Greek philosophy on the absurdity of language, reading each other rap lyrics and slam poetry, or droning on about how plot twists built around wordplay can make some fantastically unpredictable stories and lead to some hilarious irony (I'm talking about dramatic irony. I only feel the need to clarify because there's a huge overlap between people who correct you for using a pun and people who correct you for using the word irony even when you're using it correctly). 

We could talk about it, but that won't convince you of the merit of puns. You will just cast aside any book or show you like as an exception to a rule and use puns in works you don't like as proof that those works are poorly written. So instead, let's get back to the meat of your problem with puns.

Dad Jokes: the meat of the problem

Yaaaaa! That's hot!

When someone told you puns are "the lowest form of wit" or whatever bologna they sold you, maybe they really had a beef with Dad Jokes. A lot of dad jokes hinge on an obvious pun, they boar his daughter and are hated bison's. That argument is strong, but not stroganoff! Let me try to define a "dad joke" as well as I can. A dad joke is a joke that's corny and unfunny or incredibly unoriginal. It makes sense that unoriginal jokes are associated with because literally every father has exploited the fact that once their child is old enough to understand jokes but not old enough to have heard all of the mediocre ones, they can be convinced that anyone any father is the next Luis C. K., Jerry Seinfeld, Kevin Hart, some comedian who hasn't become super controversial to mention casually. 

It could be argued that many Dad's think their tired jokes, many but not all of which contain one pun, are genuinely comedic gold, but I think most people who make bad jokes are doing so fully-aware that it's not going to get them a show on Comedy Central. In fact, half of the time I hear people drop a classic dad joke it's to get the visceral reaction from the few people like you who lose their minds when they hear somebody call chicken and eggs "an egg-cellent dish that leaves a foul taste in your mouth." You're overreaction is the PRIMARY MOTIVATOR for these events. Just like CNN created Trump and the far-right Nazis created woke-advertising by getting mad about stuff that wasn't worth the attention, so too you pun-haters have created most of the market for the type of lazy jokes you set out to destroy.

What I mean is, if your goal is to shoot down the unironic dad joke, you're firing at the wrong target when you complain about puns. Many dad jokes contain a pun, but some don't. And some good jokes contain puns. One of my favorite jokes clean jokes right now is from Jimmy Carr, who I couldn't think of when I kept thinking of comedians who are currently controversial earlier (it's too late to go back and fix that joke). 

GOOD JOKE: 
"How do you make a cat go woof? ... Petrol and a lighter." 

I find that joke pretty funny, and it borrows every element of an archetypal dad joke, from the structure and timing, to the unexpected play on the word "woof." Comedy is subjective, and everyone has their favorite jokes, so I dare you to think of your favorite joke you've heard recently. I'm willing to bet 7/10 jokes you can think of right now contain a twist where a word or phrase has a double meaning. The joke isn't the pun itself, but the joke CONTAINS a pun and that didn't bother you when you didn't realize it was a pun.

This is the tamest one of his puns I could find on Google.

Now here's an example of a bad joke: 
"What made my house fire make a woof sound? ... There was a dog inside." 

That horrible, terrible, unfunny joke I just made up, in my opinion, is not nearly as fun. It actually made me feel a little sad while I was writing it (If it made you sad here's part 2: the dog got out, he's fine now. The end.) It contains the EXACT same pun as the Jimmy Carr joke, but without any of the other qualities of a good joke. You can see the twist coming from a mile away, and when it comes it's not a funny picture or a particularly shocking one. As most of us already knew, the PUN wasn't inherently funny because it is a pun. But Carr's JOKE isn't objectively unfunny or immoral because it contains a pun.

So next time you hear a cringe-worthy presented casually and not as a stand alone joke, or you hear a good joke and then realize mid-laugh that it was written around a pun, just remember that the only one cringing is you... and maybe don't ruin everyone's fun. Thanks for reading! Feel free to tell me how effectively and completely your sense of humor was made right in the comments. I have a subscribe button somewhere if you still use email. K Bye.
~The Noah