Hating Puns Doesn't Make You Smart

HEY NOBODY!

I'm The Noah and this is The Noahbody Cares, the blog where I write things Nobody cares about. Oak-kay, I'm going to go out on a limb and say that you are currently having one of tree reactions: 1. I wonder where this post is going? 2. Wait, why are there tree puns suddenly? or 3. OH MY GOSH STOP MAKING PUNS!!!! PUNS! ARE! NOT! FUNNY!

If you hate puns please read on.
They aren't all jokes like this.

This ONE trick got my blood pressure from 135 down to 26!

THAT'S RIGHT. I'm going to use the Georgia font for this one! (that's the last default font on blogger. I mean, I could always download more fonts or move the blog over to a better website, but that would require effort.)

... I'm The Noah and this is Noahbody [space] Cares [Capital N Capital C] Let's go!

A code/puzzle with a CASH PRIZE

Alright, this one isn't normal. First person to decode this wins $10 and a shout out. I'm serious.
Okay. Here's the puzzle: